When You've Run Out of Time

A few weeks ago I found myself tangled up with my bike two inches in front of a car tire, shaking and laughing. The driver was kneeling in front of me constantly repeating the question “Are you OK?” No matter how many times I reaffirmed that I was, she kept asking me over and over again until I realized she was more in shock than I was. I could only imagine looking at the scrapes and dents on the side and hood of her car how she must have felt knowing that she t-boned a cyclist at speed. I consoled her until she seemed better enough to drive, got myself up, checked out my few scrapes and bruises, exchanged information with her and that was that.

But it wasn’t.

You know how you can later recall the minutia of each second of an accident or near-death experience? How you can retell the episode in slow motion? Well what happened to me was different because while I was actually in the accident everything slowed down. This wasn’t a post processing slow motion recall kind of thing. Instead it was right in the fray of it. Tiny decisions were being made, deliberation and outcomes were being assessed, minor adjustments to handlebar and brake pressure, balance and force, momentum and even how I rolled off the hood onto the ground were all calculations for which I was completely present. I was making “real time” decisions within concentrated focused parameters of that particular time and space locus that ultimately saved my life.

So as she was hovering above me in shock asking me if I was ok, I was astounded at the presence I had in the nano seconds. I’ve never experienced anything like that before, and trust me, I’ve been in a lot of sketchy situations and “near-death” accidents. What was different here was that I was actually slowing time and space and entering into hyper calculation mode. It was absolutely fantastic and I’ve been wanting to write about it for a while but just needed to really sit with it, to understand what was going on, so that this wouldn’t turn into just another story, but a life lesson.

What I learned was that the years of my meditation and especially yoga nidra practice has literally helped me see a more expanded view of the time/space dimension, or maybe actually see beyond its limitations. I don’t want to get too esoteric here, but the truth is, if I hadn’t practiced and learned that unique awareness yoga nidra creates through expanding one’s focus and concentration capabilities I’m not sure that I’d be sitting here writing this right now.

While I appreciate that you may be thinking to write me a quick note saying that you’re glad I’m OK. I’d rather you ask yourself if you are OK? Are you present in every moment? What are you bringing into your field of perception? What sources of stimulation and sensory overload are you engaging in that keeps you from being completely aware and present for what IS? What skill sets are you developing to better handle a more and more chaotic world? And as the driver was, are you still on your phone while you are driving??????

Practicing Yoga Nidra and Meditation literally saved my life. Commit to a home based practice (you can download my Yoga Nidra Album here) or study with me at any of the upcoming 2020 immersions, on-line learning, retreats or certification programs I’ve created as a result of this amazing moment in my life. I’m re-inspired to share these amazing practices with you.

In service and light,

Jillian